I've been reading a great book called Talking to Girls About Duran Duran: One Young Man's Quest for True Love and a Cooler Haircut in which the author, Rob Sheffield, chronicles his life in relation to the music of his youth. I have decided to therefore create a series of music-related blogs about my life's journey through love, loss and lust.
Below is the first entry in that series.
Just a note about formatting: With each song you may notice some notes in italics. Generally just one or two words, these are my first impressions of the songs and a clue about what they mean to me. Sometimes I go into greater detail. Sometimes I don’t. Blogger’s perogative. Lol.
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The Title Song
Whenever I hear this song, I think of Adam Sandler singing this in The Wedding Singer after his breakup with his fiancé. I love his friends’ reactions to his meltdown. Of course, I prefer my friends’ reactions: Upon learning that my marriage was dissolving, my friends invited me into their home and plied me with cider, rum and Rock Band. Release the Kraken!
Incidentally, I also had an audition that following Monday. It was the most real and raw audition I’ve ever had. I don’t think I could replicate that performance if I tried. I think I scared the casting directors. Lol.
Blindsided
Meant to be played at maximum volume…or what I call “Full Anger Levels”.
The WTF?
Chronicling the dichotomy of a breakup, Oona sings of heartache, loss, revenge, anger, remorse and longing. I first heard this song on So You Think You Can Dance, not knowing the song would later be so appropriate in my life. The dance (choreographed by the brilliant Sonya Tayeh) was dark, heart wrenching, and again eerily appropriate.
The Assassination
You know that scene in Kill Bill (after bullets have hailed down on the wedding party) when we see a closeup of the Bride trying to reason with her would-be assassin before he puts a bullet in her brain?
Yeah, like that.
The Confusion
What descension into chaos would be complete without a song from Oingo Boingo? So much confusion, so much loss…Pay special attention to my favorite line about the convicts.
The Denial
I used to relate this song to my old job as an Accessories Designer. Dealing with the day-to-day grind, not sure if there were better jobs out there for someone with my relative inexperience, just feeling like no matter how hard I worked I would never get the appreciation I felt I was capable of getting…
Easy to see how those same feelings could relate to a broken relationship, isn’t it? From the jarring first “noise”, this song still gets me. I swear Dave Gahan lives in my brain sometimes. Poor guy.
The Hope
Although ultimately futile, there was still that glimmer of hope. I wanted so much to do whatever it took to fix the failings of the relationship. I should have known better when the marital counselor told me (on two separate occasions) to seek legal counsel.
The Torment
What, did you think all songs about torment would be dreary?
Ultimately, it was the quicksilver emotional back and forth that provided a reason for continued failings—and my impatience to deal with them. Constantly held at arm’s length, but being encouraged to work harder on the relationship…I guess it was not unlike that old chestnut, “I love you, but I am not in love with you.” Who can work with that?
The Blame
I know of no one capable of living a “pristine” life. I certainly haven’t. Just don’t judge me for it.
The Failing
I once heard a radio program in which a therapist was talking about the steps to get (and maintain) love. One of the steps was to love a “complete” person. When we love someone with a passion (i.e. hobbies or goals) and a secure sense of self, we are able to complement that person more fully, not merely complete them. Hmmmmmmm.
The Perception
Perception is a funny thing.
My mother said something to me during one of our many conversations about the divorce, “Well, what did you expect would come from being in the driver’s seat?” I didn’t think I had been. I certainly hadn’t tried to be.
Interesting how being a source of strength can seem like a weight to the other person, isn’t it?
The Question
Sometimes we just do the best we can.
The Castoff
Give a little. Get a little. Give a lot…get taken for a ride? Explain to me where that one is written.
The Bitter Pill of Realization
Sigh. Oh it just gets better.
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There. Just a little teaser. Stay tuned for the next installation of music, when our intrepid heroine explores the reasons/symptoms of her marriage's demise. Some fun now. Wheeeeeeeeee.
LOL.
Until next time....
MKC
Jewel's You Were Meant For Me
ReplyDeleteand
Cyndi Lauper's I Don't Wanne Be Your Friend
The first one, during the depressed, denial stage, and the second one for the getting over it and empowering yourself stage. :)