Halloween for One

So getting divorced brings with it all sorts of realizations.  Oh man, I need health insurance…and auto insurance…and to pay rent…and my own Costco Account…and someone to pick me up from the car repair shop…and… Blah blah blah.

The one thing that has been causing me to panic this October, however, has nothing to do with any of these “details”.  Instead, the very thing striking fear into my very soul is…WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR FOR HALLOWEEN?

You’ve got to understand:  Halloween is my favorite holiday.  I mean, seriously, it’s like what Christmas is to most people.  I love the spooky decorations, the costumes, the candy, the pumpkin patches, the haunted houses, the cobwebs I don’t have to clean....  When Starbucks brings back their Pumpkin Spice Lattes for the fall, I want to weep from the sheer joy that Halloween is almost here (Oh, OK, and they are damn good!).  I could probably live in Halloween Town for most of the year and be just fine with it.

So what’s the problem?

This year marks the first October in several years that I have been invited (on my own) to an adults-only Halloween party.  Not having even had a solo Halloween in over 15 years, it sounds silly, but the whole thing has caused me great angst.

Let me explain:  Ever since the beginning of the relationship with the ex, I have found a special (and somewhat sick) joy in creating themed Halloween costumes.  When our daughter was born the paired costumes increased to being “trio” costumes.  We’ve dressed up as characters from Beetlejuice, Robin Hood, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Star Wars, The Wizard of Oz, Toy Story, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast…I can think of only a couple of times when our costumes weren’t themed during our relationship.  And now I have to come up with a costume that works for just one person?  AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

The good news is my daughter has already decided that she wants to go Trick-or-Treating as Cinderella. OK, so that one’s easy.  I will therefore dress to match as the Fairy Godmother.  This is hardly appropriate attire for an adults-only party, however. 

Not really the type to dress slutty (sexy yes, slutty never), I really want to be something that would be fun and appropriate for a party filled with amazing, creative people.  I want it to have a sense of whimsy, sexiness and sass while representing my current state of mind.  The costume should still be a nod to my newfound sense of self and, as always, be tongue in cheek.  That is a lot of pressure for the newly emancipated person's costume.

After much thought (and a chance discussion with the awesome receptionist at my therapist’s office), though, I have finally found the answer to my Halloween conundrum.  The perfect costume for October 2011:  I am going to be a Black Widow. 

Bahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa.