So here we are at the end of another year, and, contrary to original theory, the world did not end as predicted. No, Mayans, instead we've made it to another Christmas Night. I therefore find myself pondering my Christmas Wishes/Resolutions. As you may remember, I believe that vocalizing what I want will help bring good things from the Universe. Here goes (in no specific order)....
Christmas Wish/Resolution #1: Financial Stability
In this current economic climate, it has still been difficult to find gainful employment. I have been unsuccessfully searching for over a year, yet at the crux of the search is that I really love my seasonal position with a local theater company. From March through August, I get to go into schools and teach kids about acting and William Shakespeare (two of my great passions!). I obtained this job without any formal education or experience, just chutzpah. It has made me rethink what I may want to do with my life and my career...and yet I have to scramble for financial stability for the rest of the year.
My wish, therefore is to maintain financial stability. Whether it will come from continuing to find contracted, part time work or winning the lottery, I must limit my financial stress, make money and continue to support my daughter. This has become even more prevalent with my ex-husband now living on unemployment after the loss of his job earlier this year.
And I can still hope for a fabulous, fulfilling and well-paying job with amazing benefits, right?
Christmas Wish/Resolution #2: A Little Romance
Let's be honest here: I want some loving. While not looking for a second marriage, I readily admit that I miss being married. It isn't so much about my ex-husband (because I can't even completely say that I miss him) as it is about the companionship and the ease with which I could be myself. I like sharing my life with others. I like talking to people about my triumphs, my problems, my passions, my daughter, even just my day.... I want someone to care about what happens to me. Especially if that someone also wants to see me naked.
I am not looking for a Lothario, a husband or a booty call. I want to feel a positive presence in my life that revolves around affection, consideration, respect, trust, support, humor and admiration.
I. Am. Ready.
There, I said it.
Christmas Wish/Resolution #3: Peace of Mind
And this is the one that remains on my list from last year. After all, it has been the hardest to attain. I have focused my efforts on dealing with my emotional baggage, yet every so often I am still struck with the effects of carrying all of it around. I may never be rid of the scars from the divorce. I am working to still take them in stride (and eventually to lighten them).
In truth, 2012 has been a rough year. Was it better than 2011? Will it be worse in 2013? It will be what I make of it. I am hoping for relief from my pain and a return to the best me. Even with the threat of depression looming overhead, I want to focus more, procrastinate less, stay positive and live well. I will complete projects and tasks and no longer be caught up in an emotional quagmire.
After all, peaceful heart, peaceful mind.
Oh yeah, I have big plans for you 2013. You will be my bitch.
