I’ve recently been dealing with the potential loss of a close friend. The details of our row are not
important, but suffice it to say he had not acted in accordance to what I consider
the number one rule of human interaction of “Don’t be a Dick.” I felt like my patience and resources had
been used and abused. Although he
claimed to love (platonically) and respect me, I felt neither of those things. Better to rid oneself of the head and heart
ache by severing ties with a “friend” like that. I was absolutely prepared to walk away from
the friendship.
And so I began, unbeknownst to him, of course, the process
of dealing with the emotional wreckage.
I distanced myself from him, unfollowing him on Facebook and maintaining radio
silence. I only succumbed to the
occasional sobbing-in-the-shower jag. I
was doing fine.
I really only "had my mad on" for a few days, when, lo and behold, he sought me out, wanting to allegedly apologize and to make amends. At first, I wasn’t sure
I wanted to meet with him and was, in fact, even cautioned against it by some
of my other friends. I do try, however, to give people the benefit of the doubt...and, hell yeah, I felt I did deserve an
apology. I acquiesced and we met for
coffee.
In the tearful, exhausting hour and a half that followed, he
did indeed apologize. Not just the
casual, reactionary and innocuous
maybe-not-really sorry type of apology either (Oh, you know the ones I mean…like,
“I’m sorry you’re mad” or “I’m sorry we’re fighting” or, worse, “I’m sorry for
the outcome of my actions, but not really the actions themselves.”). No, this was a genuine, heartfelt apology
with an actual, coherent grasp both of the situation and my feelings. Honestly, it was the only thing that would have worked to repair. OK, maybe a little John Cusack with a boombox action would have too...although I don't know of any songs for healing a friendship that wouldn't come off as too romantic. Ha ha.
And while it is the ensuing actions that will determine the course
of our friendship in the future, for
now, I can only hope that we are on the mend—and that our friendship will indeed
be stronger for it. I will try,
therefore, to keep both my heart and mind open enough to allow the healing to continue. A girl needs all the friends she can get sometimes.
Until next time, Lovelies….
Until next time, Lovelies….
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