40 Days Till 40 (Day 37)

BADGE OF THE VAG  

(WARNING:   THIS ENTRY IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART)

I was having a conversation with a theater owner about my upcoming performance in The Vagina Monologues.  He asked me, “How come they never do The Vagina Monologues with men? After all, there are all-female casts doing Shakespeare.”

Although I did explain that the purpose of The Vagina Monologues is to bring awareness to FEMALE issues (and that I thought men might have participated in the show before), the conversation didn’t go much further than that.  He was apparently excited about the idea of producing an all-male version of The Vagina Monologues and decided to immediately float the idea to some of the other guys in the theater company. 

In thinking further, however, I realized that I was not overly enthusiastic about this idea.  In fact, I am pretty sure that I downright hated it.  While I think it would be an interesting experiment, there is a pretty major reason for NOT doing the production with male actors:  VAGINAS (or lack thereof). 

I am not saying that men cannot be feminists.  Of course, they can—and should.  Many are.  Hell, I’ve even wanted to produce/act in/direct an all-female version of a Shakespeare play too.  The difference is, in a Shakespeare play (or any other play), a woman would be playing a male character—not a man.  I have done this myself, several times. 

My problem with men doing The Vagina Monologues is that I feel it would lose its impact—especially if it were an all-male cast.  The monologues are supposed to be the stories of REAL women.  The show is not about man-hating (as some assume), but about women learning to love themselves or to survive after the trauma of rape or abuse.  It’s about the coming together of women to celebrate the feminine and to find solidarity in each other (and with society) through their stories.  It is about women having a voice. 

I am sorry, and this is going to sound like extreme gender bias, but how could someone who has never had a vagina ever be able to rant believably about tampons, gyno visits and thong underwear?  Or to commiserate about vaginal discharge?  Or to understand the shame of being raped by one’s husband because the patriarchal society deems it is OK?  Or to feel the embarrassment and exposure of shaving one’s hoo-ha (and therefore feeling like a little girl)?  No, that is not what or all the show is about, but some of the monologues poke fun at or discuss those things (and more) in a way that is specifically female.  While I have seen some male actors who play incredibly plausible females, I worry that an all-male cast would make the show seem more sardonic in nature, like it would poke fun at it…or only create novelty.  In other words, even though men may identify with some of the issues, having an all-male cast could very well go against the entire purpose of the show. 

Seriously, men, if you want to do a show called Conversations with My Penis or Talking Dick to raise awareness for male issues, by all means, go forth.  I will happily support you—but I won’t try to be in your production. 

Women have so few things that are inherently female.  Please just let us have just one damned play.  Hmph.

Until tomorrow, Lovelies….