Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Singin' the Imperfection Blues

I am having a day of feeling my imperfections.  I have these occasionally, generally whilst in a fit of boredom, loneliness or extended solitude.  I find myself filled with self doubt about my actions, words, emotions…and sometimes even my sense of self.  It is not a fun place to be. Because I am a woman, however, I can usually blame it on hormones or PMS.  This may or may not be the case, but it feels good to have something tangible that most people understand.

The truth is, however, I just get inside my own head.  Sometimes it is all sunshine and light and fluffy bunnies…then the bunnies grow and multiply and start looking like Gremlins.  There are so many of them, that they choke out the light, forcing me to seek shelter in an abandoned house.  This house is dark and spooky.  The floors are weak and the walls crumbling.  There are noises in this house that cause me unrest, the sounds of incessant scratching and howling.  This house is not safe.  I do not like spending time there.   

I have been told in the past that I have the capability of appearing aloof or distant, even cold.  I have always found this interesting as I have also been described as warm, friendly and approachable.  The truth is, though, I am neither one nor the other.  I am both.  I am both out of necessity and in the best interest of self-preservation.  This is for the very simple reason that, no matter my exterior, I feel things intensely.  When those feelings get overwhelming, I have to work that much harder to lock them down.  I grin and bear it as best I can during the day—and end up spending an angst-filled night (week/month/year) in the ol’ mental House of Horrors. 

I used to think that feeling this intensely was the hallmark of a creative person.  You know, suffering for one’s art and all that.  Perhaps that is part of it, but isn’t that giving creativity a bad rap?  Just because creative people can visualize 50 million different scenarios and re-live them over and over (occasionally through positive outlets such as theater, writing, painting, music, etc.) doesn’t mean they are all plagued by overwhelming emotion—does it?  This seems to be more of a societal assumption in regard to creativity.  Like, to create art one needs passion.  Whatever the hell that means. 

I am working to live my life to the fullest, emotionally, physically and mentally, but have to do so with the knowledge that not everyone is along for the same ride.  Passion can be a scary thing for those who do not have enough of their own—and for those who have too much and cannot handle more.  I, myself, have fallen victim to tremendous passion on numerous occasions.  I gave so much of myself.  I felt so powerfully.  What I got in return was less than satisfying:  Misguided affection and trust, rejection (imagined or otherwise), strained relationships, exhaustion, expectations, harsh realizations, moments of weakness, regret….

At the end of it all, however, I also get something very important.  Understanding. 

My journey is my own, and sometimes, life experiences are just that, experiences.  They may be a catalyst for something more…or they may be something that just happened.  Something to make me say, “Well, that was cool.  Next.”  They don’t have to be Events (with a capital “E”).  The problem is, of course, that I occasionally want so much more than just “an experience”.  I want to get caught up in the emotion…just not consumed by it.   

But then, I am a woman.  I feel things deeply.  And, you know, PMS.  Lol.

Until my next entry, Lovelies….

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