Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Pay It Forward...Or At Least Appreciate It!


In the (almost) week since my birthday I’ve been noticing a trend on Facebook toward posts about kindness and appreciation.  One friend posted that a total stranger had paid her toll while she was driving in the Bay Area.  Another friend mentioned that someone had surprisingly paid her fees for a license she required.  These (and more) prompted me to share one of my own experiences. 

Last week I was in Whole Foods buying myself a special treat for my birthday.  There was a man behind me with a single container of yogurt.  He was older, a bit surly and slightly unkempt.  Perhaps it was from the giddy anticipation of enjoying my carrot cake cupcake or because I was feeling particularly generous in light of so much birthday love and kindness, but I decided to purchase his yogurt. 

Here’s the funny thing:  Most people would be pleasantly surprised and graciously accept the gift, but this guy was extremely crabby about it!  He actually tried to snatch the yogurt back from the cashier.  The cashier gently told him, “She’s insisting.”  He begrudgingly consented, mumbling his thanks.  I smiled at him, but he wouldn’t even meet my eye.  He just took his yogurt and walked away, with his head down.  

This of course makes me wonder…was this an unusual act of kindness in his life?  Or was it simply difficult for him to accept the gift?  Was it because the gift was from a stranger?

I wrote earlier about the kindness of strangers, but here, it seems, is another lesson for me to take to heart:  It is not just enough to be kind to others, but to readily accept their kindness with graciousness and appreciation as well.  This is something I don’t do particularly well, depending on the situation. 

For example, my inspirational guru friend has a practice of telling people three things that she appreciates about them.  I love this practice, but I find that on the occasion that she directs her comments toward me I don’t know how to react.  I usually try to downplay her statements, an action which usually irritates her until she says, “Just say thank you.”

I realize that I have no issue with accepting kindness when it comes to “things”, but genuine and sincere compliments about my character or actions are a bit harder to take. I don’t believe this is because of feigned modesty, a lack of confidence, or even some underlying fear that maybe I don’t really deserve them.  Sometimes it is simply that I feel that I am being thanked for something I would have done anyway.  I forget sometimes that not everyone would do some of the things I do.  Some don’t care to, but some just are not able.  This doesn’t make me special or better than anyone else.  It’s just a different skill set or a different outlook.  I like helping or giving to other others and so it feels good when I can. 

That’s not to say, of course, that I don’t want to be appreciated.  Of course I do.  Who doesn’t?  I think I just sometimes also forget that what may seem natural and/or “no big deal” to me can mean the world to someone else. 

On a sadder note, I feel sometimes that my marriage might have ended because I didn’t show enough appreciation to my husband (Quite frankly, I doubt he appreciated me very much either.). It’s not that I wasn’t grateful either for him or the marriage.  I just didn’t tell him very often.  This is something that, admittedly, still sits heavy in my heart…a very glaring “Lesson Learned”.  While I can no longer do anything about that relationship, just imagine how appreciated the next Significant Other will be.  Oh yeah, I am going to appreciate all over that guy. 

So there it is, another Grand Lesson:  be kind, accept kindness and appreciate kindness when you get it. 

Until my next entry, Lovelies….




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