Thursday, January 16, 2014

40 Days Till 40 (Day 12)


NEXT STOP ON THE CRAZY TRAIN

One of my most inspirational and amazing friends posted an article on her Facebook page today about finding love after divorce.  The article chronicles one woman’s journey through the rocky terrain of her life post break-up.  Obviously, this struck a cord with me. 

The author speaks of the changes she went through, changes which, in three short years, rendered her virtually unrecognizable to herself.  As many of my previous blog posts will attest, I clearly identify with the idea of not being the same person since the divorce.  I am absolutely not the same.  Sometimes I feel much more introverted.  Sometimes I am less confident.   I am not always sure about my decisions (past, present and future) and I spend much more time in relative “hermitude” than I had in the past.  It is harder for me to recharge because I’ve spent so much time and effort trying to work through everything (or trying to be OK with life in its current state).  I’ve had to learn to live alone—and to raise a child at the same time.  Why wouldn’t I have changed?  

Or maybe I am just sloughing off who I’d become in the marriage and realizing my true self?  Hmmmmmm. 

But back to the article:  I’ve already worked through some of the tasks and life stages the author lists, but there are still more to go.  So many things are still "in progress".  Who knows, perhaps they always will be?  After all, how can one ever really know what the future holds?  I certainly didn’t when I was married 14 years ago.  What I am living now was definitely not how I saw my life turning out.  

Or apparently how anyone else did either. 

When I was in high school I was voted “Most Likely to be Elizabeth Taylor”…and it wasn’t because of her acting career.  For some reason people were under the impression that I would marry and divorce several times.  Funny that one, considering I’d only ever wanted to marry once (and no, there will definitely not be any Richard Burton re-marriage scenario here).  I knew then that I didn’t want to repeat the marital history of my parents (married and divorced at a young age).  I thought I’d be married forever.  Two kids, picket fence, happy happy joy joy. 

In reality, I really didn’t like living in suburbia.  I have one child (who has enough sass for two).  I have no husband and may or may not ever marry another.  I struggle every day to find inner peace and to create my place in life (and, as you know, to clean my apartment.  Ha.).  I am who I am--even as I am creating who I want to be.

Oh yeah, and this journey I’m on?  It ain’t over.  I’m simply at a station on this crazy train of life. 

Until tomorrow, Lovelies….


*Written 1/15/14 (Day 12).  The article to which I refer may be found here:  

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