Let the Sunshine In!

So, here it is, the beginning of 2014.  The social media sites have blown up with an influx of posts about New Year’s resolutions, feelings about the previous year or excitement (and/or trepidation) about the upcoming year.  It fills me with hope to think that we can simply restart at the end of the calendar year, sloughing off the taint of the previous year’s failures, heartbreaks and, well, shit.  Whether this is true or not, the end of the year does always bring with it a certain amount of retrospection. 

For me, personally, 2013 was a real doozy.  Although, in truth, this could be said of the last few years, I felt that 2013 brought with it some bizarre plot twists, emotional (and financial) lows, extreme introspection and decidedly hermit behavior.  It’s as if a general malaise had permeated into my daily life, clouding it with a general dissatisfaction. There were so many days when I was exhausted from trying:  trying to make everything better; trying to hold it all together; trying to claw and tear my way from the blackened depths of shame, misery, loneliness and boredom….  Days where I was filled with an even more urgent desire to finally fight through to the surface of the quagmire and to, dear God, just get through this phase of my life.

And so we return to the idea of the New Year in a restorative sense.  With the changing over of the year, we have 365 more days to work toward our goals!  To obtain greatness!  To be awesome!  And all under the constraints of a semi-tangible, chronological deadline!

Whew. 

Let’s be honest, though, aren’t we putting a lot of pressure on the changeover to the New Year?  True, January 1^st seems like the perfect day to start anew (yippee!  I just put up my new Star Wars calendar!), but shouldn’t we live every day like it has the potential to be the beginning of something new?  Perhaps my New Year will start on May 19^th.  Perhaps yours will begin on September 3^rd.  It isn’t limited to any particular day, month or year, is it?  Each day can bring with it love, joy, clarity, prosperity, health…we just have to believe it, right?

And yet so many of us are tied to the idea of New Year’s Day being the start of the rest of our lives.  Perhaps it is convenience? Maybe it is simply doctrine?  Either way, it seems to bring comfort to the masses.  Believing that if our resolutions don’t work out for us this year, but, hey, there’s always next year, gives us a sense of, I don’t know, peace maybe?

Well, not for me, lovelies.  If the crappiness that was 2013 has taught me anything, it is that I am not comfortable with complacency. Certain aspects of my life have already included Great Change, much of which was beyond my control.  From this, I understand that sometimes I do have to let changes happen, even if I don’t like them.  By altering my perception of them, however, I may tolerate the changes better.

I have also learned that making grandiose yearly resolutions does me no good.  Sometimes I need to just make a (Hourly? Daily? Weekly?) list of smaller goals or accomplishments and reach for those instead.  Although I realize that I have a tendency to procrastinate on less desirable tasks, I cannot beat myself up if I don’t accomplish them immediately, especially if the deadline is one I have created. 

Sometimes I just need to take stock of my life, to take time to recharge and to keep moving forward in an effort to not get bogged down or overwhelmed by negativity. I understand that I need to not only take ownership of my mistakes and insufficiencies, but to also take pride in and appreciate my accomplishments—no matter how seemingly insignificant.

Believe me when I say with great conviction that none of this is easy for me and requires constant diligence and effort.  I must work every single day, month, year to make my life what I want it to be.

Which is sort of the point, though, isn’t it? 

Whether you believe in “God’s Plan” (or “Destiny”) or not, we never know with absolute certainty where our lives will lead us.  We are not nor can we be aware of an actual set day for life to begin or change or end.  If we were, I doubt it would coincide with the changing of the calendar year. 

So, go on, make resolutions that last, not just 365 days, but a lifetime.  After all, a year is but a measurement of time, a period in which we will live.  We will succeed and fail, love and hate, change and grow.  There will be triumphs, mistakes, tears, laughter, pleasure, pain, yearning, desire, loneliness, joy, despair, loss, gains, consistency, chaos, good days and bad….  There is no absolute one-year expiration date to our goals, dreams or desires, because Life does not happen in just one year.    No matter what the calendar says. 

I therefore wish you (and me!), not just one year, but many years of Real Living.  May 2014 be the first in that journey.  I wish you health, wealth, love, luck, happiness, sunshine...and cookies.  ;)